Wednesday, March 25, 2009

lazy lizards...

...and other island creatures

on caye caulker, belize, you're more than likely to cross the path of a lizard or two. ..we've got your small lizards, like in florida, and then we've got your iguana lizards. ..the iguanas aren't as colorful as those on cancun or st. thomas, but they do have that dinosaur-looking quality about them.

males, as part of a mating ritual, will make crazy gyration-like movements and go through all kinds of silly antics just to capture the attention of a female. ..males are also (kind-of) dumb. ..if a female so much as glances his way, a male will think "she wants me, man!"
the wily female, on the other hand, will oftentimes play "hard to get."


(eerrrrrrrrr... by the way... lizards go through a similar type of ritual). ..ooooops.

recently, male lizards have resorted to technology, and have evolved into what is now known as "the linked lizard."

a linked lizard will have his own website, complete with a blog, and will be linked into,, and ..he'll be working the online lizard chatrooms, and checking out the dating scene at and

he's probably visited "lizards seeking lizzies" in the personalizard section of craig's lizardlist, although the "casualizard encounters" page is a bit out of his league.

his profile on looks something like this:

"i'm a nice guy lizard. ..maybe a little cold-blooded at times.
i'm sick of the singles sand-bar scene.
like to watch godzilla movies, give massages, and take long walks on the beach.
looking for my soulmate (liz). ..friendship first, maybe more."

Align Leftage?................. 39-ish
smoke?........... occasionally (i don't inhale)
drink? ............ socially (i like mine on the rocks)

body type?..... big boned (a few extra pounds, but who doesn't?)
religion?.......... rhythm method-ist (it's a 'musical chairs' sect)
kids?................ will tell you later

income?........... will tell you later

well, at least the linked lizard is (sort of) up-front about things, unlike the notorious m.l.m. lizard.

the m.l.m. (multi-level marketing) lizard will call you from his blackberry after not speaking with you for 15 years, and leave a very, very, peppy message, as follows:

"hi, john! ..uh, i mean sally!!!!
grrrrrrrrrrrreat to hear from you again! ..can i take you to lunch tomorrow?
i've just come across a fantastic business opportunity that i know would be perfect for you!

in fact, the plan is sooooo good that you'll want to involve your friends & family,
your dog, your cat, and even your parakeet!

don't exterminate your house, because if you've got cockroaches,
we'll sign them up too!! everybody wins!!

i'll call you back tonight, harry! (uh, i mean sue...)
...right about the time you're ready to sit down to a nice dinner!"

other c.c. creatures

watch out for these creepy caye caulker crabs, because these babies come out at night!

hermit crab

blue crab
shockingly enough, no sightings of snakes (yet).

osprey (or is this a bald eagle)?

* click here for humanoids who frequent "the lazy lizard" on caye caulker, belize.

* click here for even more lizard activity, in st. thomas, u.s.v.i.

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