Friday, April 10, 2009

volcanic differences

given a volcano…

alternative title: when in rome…

given a volcano,

* in rhode island, you’d try to cook a lobster in the volcanic lava, while eating a clam cake and sipping on a del’s frozen lemonade.

* in australia, you’d put down your surfboard, hoist a pint of your favorite brew to the volcano, tell a joke, then toast to the volcano before washing down that last bite of vegemite sandwich.


* in fiji, you’d engage in a strange ritualistic volcano dance, drink cava, and pray to the volcano god.

* in new zealand, you’d climb the volcano’s glacier, clear on up to the helipad.’d then fly (via helicopter) high over the volcano, and then you’d parachute down onto a tandem hang-glider (which would be engaged in acrobatic stunts).

you’d then bungee jump (naked, of course) off of the hang-glider -- to within six-inches of the lava (while chugging a pint of fine, new zealand pale ale). ..your buddies would say “good on ya, mate!” before you’d go and find something exciting to do.

* in thailand, you’d bow to the volcano, then you’d get a massage.

* in tallahassee, florida, you’d “tomahawk chop” the volcano. ..unfortunately (for you), there’d be somebody dressed in orange & blue on the opposite side, doing “the chomp” and saying “go gators! ..hail to tim tebow!

* in belize, you’d smoke a large bowl of ganja before scuba diving to the volcano, which would be underwater.

* in california, you’d meditate before performing a yogic “sun salutation” in front of the volcano. ..then you’d say, quote: “duuuuuuuuude. ..totally awesome.

in costa rica, however, you’d simply watch (breathing, sensing, connecting).

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