the Dance of life is both poetic and ironic. ..the more that you put yourself out on the dancefloor, the more likely you are to:
- dance the night away, and
- get your toes stepped upon
this post is designed to explain #2, and to describe how “getting stepped on” can actually be a G∞d thing.
fun-fact: when you get out of your own comfort zone and join the Dance, you open yourself up to a plethora of interesting opportunities. ..when you’re “out there,” you provide others with a golden opportunity to join the fun. ..at times, people will join in a negative manner, which might manifest as judgment, criticism, anger, gossip, ect.
it is important to note that, at a sub-conscious level, a negative person is one who is in some kind of pain or misery. ..s/he simply wants company.
since you are “out there” on the dancefloor of life, you welcome him/her to share the bad dance moves along with the good ones. ..when a person is in a painful, restricted, negative place, they can only dance as well as their bodymind allows at that present moment. ..for that moment in time, s/he is behaving as a “bad dancer.”
fun-fact, too: there is no such thing as a “bad dancer.” ..there are only Perfect Dancers who sometimes make missteps.
when s/he steps on your toes, it’s important to note that s/he, in a weird kind of way, is simply making an attempt to connect. ..this can happen during a time when s/he feels a deeeeep sense of disconnection.
interestingly enough, the people who love you the most can “dance badly” with you, because they know you well enough to know how to engage you. ..they "know" your buttons, and they know exactly where & how to push each one. ..other “bad dancers” might show up as total strangers who will go to extreme lengths to get your undivided attention.
the important point is this: when s/he criticizes, ignores, projects, displays anger, or talks behind your back, s/he is saying a lot more about him/herself than s/he is saying about you.
when s/he is projecting, what s/he is (Really) saying is:
“i’m in soooo much pain, and i don’t know how to connect.
i feel soooo unloved, and all i want is to feel loved and touched in some way.
in this sad state, i’m going to use any technique, however cruel, to get someone to pay attention to me. although it might appear as if i’m confident, secure and mean…
…the simple truth is that i’m feeling completely insecure and unloved at this moment.”
how can negative projections be Good?
- negative projections allow a person who is in pain an opportunity to connect.
- negative projections allow that person to (later) reflect upon his/her actions, and to come to the conclusion that “there must be a better way to connect.”
- negative projections allow the receiver (a) to evaluate his/her own thought-behavior in an effort to understand why s/he chose to get out on that part of the dancefloor, and (b) to for-give.
- if we can survive the bad dance moves, and if we can continue dancing, we often find that we begin can move “in synch” with virtually anyone.
- even if we never dance with that particular person again, s/he will have provided us with the opportunity to become a better dancer.
when our toes get stepped upon, we have choices:
- quit dancing, forever, or
- step on other people’s toes in an effort to connect, or
- choose a different dance hall, next time, or
- become more observant, in regard to dance-partner choices, or
- dance on!
the G∞d news is that, even if we choose to take a negative approach toward dancing, the eventual pain will lead us to trying more positive approaches, because:
bad dancers don’t get to dance as often,
and they don’t have any fun when they do-Be-do.
so... if we choose to play cindarella and “go to the ball” (hint, hint: if you’re here, you have), then the eventual outcome is Harmony.
it’s a fail-safe system.
excuse me… may we have this Dance?